i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He better not be in your backpack
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize