he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
