Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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