I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
