I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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