I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
