youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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