i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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