my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
