Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I think people are normalizing furries
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
