is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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