so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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