On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
