What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
