Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
