WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
