What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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