some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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