Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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