at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
