I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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