I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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