I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Watching her eat just hurts me
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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