I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
