well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
