Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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