And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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