Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
