Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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