i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize