Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
