To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
