ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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