please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
