Porn is love you can see.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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