I puked a lego.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
