She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
