Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
