She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
