I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Randomize
