dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
nutella sex= disaster
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
