Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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