It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
