i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
