we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
FUCK WHALES
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
