Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
