The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
