she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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