This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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