I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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