dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
