Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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